BEAUTIFUL?
This is a term, view and feeling I struggled with since I was a little girl. Why..what happened? Well probably like you I was called names and teased for having a big forehead, losing my baby teeth, & being super skinny. Often I was called ugly, told I had a big head and after gaining weight I was called fat. In middle school I had a boyfriend that was so nice to me. Every day though I can recall how Jamal would see us coming from a distance and begin to shout in the hallway " hey fat ass (referring to me) and hey black ass (referring to my very dark skinned boyfriend)." I out of sheer horror and embarrassment would begin yelling at the top of my lungs so that I could drown out his voice and so that others would not hear him. I couldn't stand Jamal during most of middle school!!! One of my worst memories was when was 19 and my sister was having her 1st baby... my "baby" Vashawnt now 17. A guy was flirting with me while sitting in the hospital waiting room and began telling me and those with me how beautiful I was... (it felt so wonderful inside... I can still feel it) All of a sudden this voice beside me the voice of someone very close to me that I loved very deeply said " Oh if you think she is beautiful you should see my other daughter... now she is beautiful!" Yes my own MOTHER was the voice that spoke up..came out of left field and ruined that moment for me. At first I didnt want to disclose that it was the woman that gave birth to me. How would you have felt? I felt like I was suffocating, embarrassed and most of all I felt UGLY. I say this not to throw my dear mother under the bus but to share with you a deep hurt that for me & so many of us "has our mommies name written on."-Iyanla Vanzant I don't feel ugly anymore... I sway back & forth between loving Timmonica, acknowledging that I have some challenges physically and emotionally that need work and feeling amazingly SEXY and BEAUTIFUL. Its such an amazing place to be in my life now. Where are you at along this journey? It took 35 years for me to drive into my parking space of self love, beauty and acceptance but I have parked and plan to stay.
Enjoy this post & see what it truly means to be Naturally Beautiful by Nikita Chopra writtien by Lisa Elaine Held found on the site Well + Good NYChttp://www.wellandgoodnyc.com/2013/09/19/nitika-chopra-on-what-it-means-to-be-naturally-beautiful/
Its time you pulled up right next to me... your parking space is waiting.
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